he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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