There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
