I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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