I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
