it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
