Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
