dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
