And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
