woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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