i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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