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I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
