We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
