we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
