so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
