No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
