I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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