I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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