just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Text me some of your sweat
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
