I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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