I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?