so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
