I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
