I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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