I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
