Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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