their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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