So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
