Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
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My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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