none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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