if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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