I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize