I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think a kid would responsible me up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
