no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
