You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
