homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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