At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
