fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So vagazzling was a success
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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