A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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