woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
