I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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