I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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