I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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