In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
