I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
