I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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