drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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