ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
