Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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