There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
