idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you win again, gameday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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