you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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