girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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