I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
