I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
