Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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