so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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