The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
