i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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