She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
