Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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